


Unofficial guide to Citadel space and it's races - reserved for c-sec officers

by Elderon50



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Not Beta Read, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Short
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-14 04:08:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29412429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elderon50/pseuds/Elderon50
Summary: Okay, the rules in citadel space are quite simple, for example c-sec is the police force and making a krogan angry is a bad idea, some others like to avoid the lower wards after dark are common sense and some others (dont' give coffe to salarians, don't make volus drunk, etc...) might take some time, in here you will find some of the less known rules and examples of why it is a good idea to keep them.Good luck reader and remember to take notes even if this is a unofficial guide to the citadel space and it's inabitants.
Kudos: 3





	1. Strange human language

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work and the english language is not my birth one so if any of you reader see a grammatical error please let me know so i may correct it, have fun.

_**1-If your omni-tool is incapable of translating some obscure or unknown human word and/or phrase keep your distance, it's better that way.** _

When Appius became a officer at c-sec he tought that the job whould be something more similiar to breaking down doors and arresting criminals, not welcoming visitors and control if they were trying to smuggle goods on the citadel, probably the most boring job he could land.

One of the humans he and his colleagus had stopped was trying to take some strange type of canned food on the citadel with him, sursomething, the omni-tool was having trouble translating but identified the language as the human language swedish and that it was food.

<I'm telling you officer, it'a a local delicacy were i come from, but you have to keep it in a cold enviroment>

<Look, it's already canned and i doubt you really need to keep it cold as well, Mr. Bertacchi> Officer Camlus was starting the tire of this human, and wait a moment, was the can starting to inflate?

Appius started to look suspiciously at the can that was definitely inflating now.

<Sir, may i interrupt for a moment?> __That was when the can decided to explode releasing all of it's (until then) contained smell of rotten something in the faces of the officer and the entire room.__

In less than a second it was chaos, the asari in the corner waiting to pass started gagging, poor Senior officer Camlus took a direct it to the eyes and started screaming and rolling on the floor, officer Appius choking on air started thinking of a biological attack, but then he saw the human roll his eye and grab a slimy and dripping something from the exploded can and take a bite.

<I don't see what the problem is, it's food>

That day, Appius learned that humans are mad.


	2. Improvised quarian engineering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A quarian, an asari and a salarian, all togheter for a talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still no idea of how many grammatical error i made, and this story is even the first time i uploaded anything at all.

**2- A improvised solution made by a quarian engineer to repair a house implement should be avoided.**

It was a nice day on the citadel, everyone was either working or relaxing, c-sec was patrolling the streets, a asari school was visiting the local museum with the young maidens, several costruction workers were enjoyng lunch and a quarian engineer was offering his services to repair house applaiances in exchange of credits.

Zaal Mekk vas Rokka was not happy, first his people called him a bad engineer, he was simply creative, thank you; second, his sister Ceni has left him on the citadel and vanished who knows were; and third a costumer was coming back angry for some reason.

<You nearly killed me!!> screamed the angry salarian.

<What? Why? I only repaired the blender like you asked, i even made it better.>

<You made the blender capable of flight and then it started to seek out every single fruit and vegetable in my home, then it started to seek out other foods and then me!>

Detective Shiala was a well aged asari, only a century away from matriarch status, but it was the first time she heard of a flight capable blender.

<Excuse me, might i know what happened, i work for c-sec and could be in a position to help solve the problem.>

<This idiot of an engineer decided to make my blender fly around my home and start to hunt food and then me.>

<I did no such thing, i only repaired it and made it better, it's not like it is going around the citadel.>

\---------- _c-sec headquarters_ \----------

<Sir, we are receiving reports of a blender going berserker in the Zakera ward.>

Excecutor Pallin felt a headache forming already, it wasn't even midday and they already had a house implement going mad; don't misunderstand him, the citadel was nice but and all that but as big as it was and with all of the diverse being on it nut cases were at least a dozen per day.

<Try to have it shot down before it hurts someone, then find who is responsible for this; i'll have words with them.>

\---------- _Back with Zaal_ \----------

Shiala saw the salarian go pale and had a realization.

<The windows were closed, right?>

<Huh... I might have forgotten in the hurry>

Both the quarian and the asari felt a creeping sense of fear at that moment.

<I take no responsibility for this, not my fault you can't command a blender.>

<It was triyng to blend my hand!!>

Shiala saw the warning message from c-sec headquarters about a fliyng blender running loose and hunting anything capable of fitting inside of it's jug; not even a full hour since she started her work and this already happened, great.


	3. Old weapons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A turian that sells antique weapons finds a client.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if i got something wrong, i wanna make the stories both grammatically correct and hystorically accurate (as much as possible).

**3- Old weapons are no longer in use for a reason, especially old krogan ones**

  
It was quite a nice day for Haykku, a strange name for a turian but he didn't choose, his parents did; in the Zakera wards triyng to sell antique weapons still in useable condition, some even predating mass effect guns, quite a rare catch on the citadel.

  
His favorite ones were the human Colt Dragoon Revolver, the salarian Hymon .20 silenced repeater gun and an old krogan Golg long range rifle, they all had history behind them, all were the turning point for the people who used them.

  
The human one served for around 12 years and was liked by both the military and the civilians, the salarian ones was perfect for nearly 10 years (a record for a salarian) for ambushes and surprise attacks, while the krogan one was famous for being the closest to a sniper rifle a krogan ever made, but used only by a krogan to take down another krogan or another race tank.

  
The shopkeeper he was talking with showed quite a lot of interest to bot the Colt and the Golg, for a volus he sounded pretty interested in weapons.

  
<So this is the Colt Dragoon Revolver, it uses black powder to shoot lead balls at a target, while the Golg is quite a big piece, i have it in the hover-car if you want to see it.>

  
<*tss* that is the most *tss* interesting piece, were did you *tss* find it?>

  
<Met a krogan elder in a terminus colony that was running low on cash, made him a really good offer and here i am.>

In thruth he shot the krogan while asleep until he stopped moving and then took the gun, it was in the terminus space so no-one cared.

  
<*tss* A Golg is quite amusing, *tss* did you know that at first it used large caliber *tss* bullet alongside mass effect fields? *tss*>

  
And now it started being creepy, while walking to the car so Haykku could try to sell the rifle, volus rarely if ever were interested in guns, unless they tried to make money from it.

  
<Whit it's good condition and it's rarity i can only ask a minimum of 420'000 credits; you can agreed that it's really hard to even see one, much less in working condition.>

  
At that the volus nearly tripped on his own feets.

  
<420'000 CREDITS?!?>

  
<Yup, they are rare, and i nearly died to find it.>

  
<err... Okay, *tss* i can understand, but first *tss* i want to see if it works, there is a *tss* shooting range only 5 minutes from here *tss*.>

  
\---------- _At the shooting range_ \----------

  
As soon as word that they were going to shoot a Golgo spread everyone in the shooting range turned to them for a spectacle; a c-sec officer on leave made sure to send a message back to headquarters just to be sure, after the surstrumming last week he didn't want to be in the same room with something rare without backup.

  
Appius learned his lesson, thank you very much; while the turian and volus discussed who would use it he preapared himself to interfere, but before he could the turian accidenatlly dropped the gun at wich point it shot and the bullet went trough the roof and vanished.

  
\---------- _Outside the shooting range_ \----------

  
The bullet went through the roof, bounced against the side of a hover-car that was passing over the palce and then it the side of a building, embedding itself in the electric implant short-circuiting the entire palace.  
The car started sverving wildly sending others over-cars in a panic, causing incidents all around and then crash landing on a different rooftop, luckily the passenger only suffered mild concussion and a single broken leg.

\---------- _Inside the shooting range_ \----------

  
As the gun fired the sound was enough to deafen several people, pieces of the roof fell on the turian and volus, the muzzle flash blinded Appius and the fire alarm immediately started screaming.

  
Turians didn't have a concept of hell or heaven like the humans, but he was sure that a evil spirit or this satan had just found him for a second time, and refused to leave him alone.


End file.
